Shame for Worrying

Who worries for nothing?

I've worried for so many things. So many to count.

Mom said, 
"You're the only one I don't wake up for at night and worry about."
Worry as a compliment?
As love?

I only heard "The one I don't wake up for."

What comes from worry?
Not much,
unless it's accompanied by careful, calm thought.


No, usually it's frantic, like the tree next door,
that grew too large, with it's brutal red leaves,
shutting out the sky blue and sun,
long branches whipping in a good strong wind,
with no purpose except perhaps a warning: 

"Danger, it's chaos out here!"

hurrah

Cheers  for one,
he got the worst and the best.
Deserved peace, but spent so many years
at war with indecency and fear, brutality.

Not chosen,
not deserved, 
not deserved at all.
fighting the indecency that brought us down.
Aren't we, aren't we to fight?

Some will not, 
some can not, 
I'm not sure, but 
as well as they can.
Some will keep the balance 
as hard as they can!
as hard as they can.

Don't stop, you who were knocked down.
And we won't!

He reaches, and continues to reach for the right.
Sharing it when received.
Zig zagging out of the wrong 
as fast as he can!
as fast as he can.

We did our best, they say,
crawling til walking
then running in joy.


Some came who could, who would.
Some could not come, 
or, wouldn't, 
I'm not sure, but
we all tried as we could,
we tried as we would.

Time now rests on laurels.
Laurels on a rested head.
He stands now as he wished, and wishes.
Let the wounded go on now.
Let us each go on ahead,
And we go by, into what's right.

Hurrah for the man who
directed the war 
led and fell back
leading the wounded,
willing or not.

Trying, looking to good and to right
and then stepping back
when it was time.

don't get close!

...
Losing two doggies,
one sick, one old,
is no picnic lunch at the beach

with a table cloth to cover the sand,

big rocks holding down the pretty print,
sand blows and sticks to the food
no matter what measures taken.

See poetic avoidance?
Get to it.

I KNEW:
no more dogs!

Think of the freedom...no dog sitters for vacations.
no dog hair.
no dog worries.
no dog attachment.

Why look in the news ads for puppies.
Makes no sense.
Doggies cause TROUBLE.
Doggies cost MONEY.

At the vet, 1 1/2 days in,
we told how Penny
had a sick belly, wouldn't eat
wouldn't drink: especially concerning.
ER Vet said maybe parasites or virus
not worse, probably, hopefully, sick-with-worry-ly.

$$$ spent to buy pup
$$$ money spent to fix pup

There went the freedom from vet debt.
How do you factor money into bonding time?

I thought we'd had enough pain,
enough to know not to get a dog.
..
...